Being like a Feather

  I am so excited! Yesterday - August 18, 2021 - I met Gianluca Bezzina! Before I tell my story I want all of you, who don´t know Gianluca Bezzina, to listen to the song "Tomorrow", which he performed for the Eurovision Song Contest in 2013. And it is important to watch: - first the official video of TOMORROW - second the live performance of Gianluca in ESC Finals in Malmo, Sweden  Here are the links: Offical video of "Tomorrow" by Gianluca: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WmJXIR9xtw Live performance of Gianluca at the Finals of Eurovision Song Contest 2013 in Malmo, Sweden: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VK4TvZeL6c0 Did you like the song? I LOVE IT! So, here is my story: Being a huge fan of ESC for pretty much all of my life I do remember Malta always having outstanding good performers. In fact it was because of ESC that I even knew about Malta in general.  It was in 2012 when I visited Malta for the first time and it was then when I fell in love with that tiny i...

Soon, very soon, I will be Fifty! There is nothing sinister about that thought. And I really have no clue why people, especially women, are making such a big fuss about turning Fifty. Okay, I get that I am not "normal". The way my life turned out so far has nothing in common with the usual evolving of a standard life in our western European society.  Married twice, no children. No meaningful relationship in ... I am afraid I have to call it ... decades.  Leaving my home country to live on a tiny island in the very South of Europe. Being happy with my life without responsibilities and plans ahead. So yes, I am aware my life is not really to compare with a standard life of many other women who turn Fifty in Europe. But also if I think of those other women. Why is it so hard for some of them to turn Fifty? To tell you the truth, I believe the only reason is:  Women have always complained about getting older and that´s why it is still be done! My niece, who is only ...

Monday evening I found those two feathers on my way home.  First the white one and a few steps further the black one. I´ve got a few white feathers at home, but I´ve NEVER found a completely black one before! So the black one is a special one - and the both in combination give me goose bumps every time I look at them. That´s a strong sign! Isn´t it? Feathers already are my signs for a very long time. There were those moments when I had to make a difficult decision. Mulling over the choices, thinking about what I should do, getting headaches from not knowing what to do ... but the very moment I came to the right conclusion, the one that definitely feels right for me, I always find a beautiful feather right in front of me. Universe place them there to tell me: "Well done. You made the right choice." I remember one particular situation when on my way to work in a real difficult period of my life. I struggled with my job, I wanted to quit, but I also was afraid to do so. For days...

Sitting in front of a blank page. Just remember from my creative writing studies how frightening a blank page could be even for an experienced writer.  Well, today it is not the blank page, that frightens me, it´s more the blank spots in my brain. I simply have nothing to write about! And I mean NOTHING. My diary is gathering dust as well. For someone who loves to write that´s a disaster! So, what happened? I had some intense months of self finding. Universe is in a constantly change and me - as usual - went with the flow.  It was a blast to feel exactly what I was reading everywhere. I received a lot of answers to my everlasting questions and the Big Picture got more visible while swimming of the wave of life. A while ago my mood changed. First I thought the honeymoon is over and I am back on the dusty road again. But that´s not right. I still see the Big Picture. I still feel there is something huge around the corner. Only right now I am feeling kind of numb.  Is it a s...

  Soon, very soon. Not that I am someone who is celebrating Birthdays. In fact I am avoiding them since decades. People who know me well will not expect Birthday wishes from me. At least I hope they don´t do it anymore.  Usually I take some vacation around my Birthdays because I just want to enjoy the summer days without work. Then, every year, I promise myself to ignore that "special day" completely. But it doesn´t work. My mind tells me "Happy Birthday" more than once during the day. And at some point I get a bit sentimental. Sentimental because on that day I inevitably remember the Birthdays of my life so far and of course I wish I could have someone very close around me who treads me like a Birthday Girl ...  It wasn´t in my cards so far.  This year I also will have some vacation around the Big Five. The plan is to avoid it - like every year - and to even be miles away from my mobile phone, my laptop and therefore internet in general. Well, we´ll see. I will tak...

A very wise person said to me the other day:   “DO YOUR STUFF. INSPIRE OTHERS. BUT THAT´S IT!”   And that´s really it. Right? What I figured out over the last couple of months is that I am really happy when I am properly looking after my own wellbeing, when I live after my own values and when I focus on myself. Everything else turns out automatically. I am grateful for all the achievements I was able to welcome in my life over the last decades. Heading forward, heading home, improve and learn – those are the most important values for me. Growing, understanding, get inspired and adapt it to my own values, something I am constantly doing. More or less. The hardest thing to do is to get rid of bad habits and of what isn´t good for my wellbeing. Though I am a really stubborn person and usually I go for what I want ... getting rid of some bad habits is not that easy as I would wish for.   For example: When I am not feeling good, I theoretical know it would be the mos...