Being like a Feather

                             Another vacation is ahead. 10 days of doing nothing - means: no plans so far. Anyway, I am in the happy position once more where there is not really a difference between working days and days off. Which is a very good sign. Because this means I am happy "at work", aka typing on my kitchen table. And it´s true. I have different tasks to do, which I can organize by myself. I´ve got one task back which meant a lot to me, which makes me really happy! And therefore the working hours are rushing over like a swoosh! We are in the end of August, which means it´s very hot at the moment. So I have to take it easy anyway. That also fits me well, cause I am sleeping a lot and I love to write and to read.  When it comes to sleeping we do come to the point I wanted to reach today: Some "heavy" dreams are back! Dreams, I have to focus on because they seem sending me an important message. My dre...

  Turning 49 was in the end a very calm and smooth transition. The day before was a relaxed one. I didn´t do anything special. It just happened that when I finished my evening program and checked the time there were 50 minutes left till midnight. So I took a shower, lit a candle and made myself comfortable on the couch.  When I closed my eyes, breathed deep and tried to feel every fibre of my body I fell into a beautiful meditation: I found myself on a meadow surrounded by large trees and everyone was there! My family, my friends, my "teachers", people who are important to me, people who have challenged me, people who are alive, people who passed away already, Natives were there, their horses grazed nearby, ... And I was able to talk to every single one of them! I was able to tell close ones that I love them. I was able to say sorry to those I needed to apologize to. Some of them stepped near and hugged me very tight. Some of them just shook my hand.  My three most challe...

The other day I had an interesting thought: My connection with the Native Americans ... my longing for them ... the sad feeling of being disconnected from them ... missing them like missing a family when you are abroad ... What if ... What if all of that means missing just one person?  THE person. My soul partner, my second half. Is he a Native American? With all those strong feelings toward the Natives it makes totally sense, doesn´t it? And for sure in one of his lives he must have been a Native.  I mean, it really makes totally sense. All the important events in my life were announced before they happened in one way or another.  One of the best examples is the anticipation I felt for seeing dolphins and maybe even a whale in Madeira: I bought that travel magazine of Madeira a couple of weeks before my trip to get in the right mood. I studied the pictures, I read the articles. But it was one article to which I always returned: About a couple who offers dolphin and whale...

Right now it feels like after decades struggling through a mighty jungle I finally see a light in the distance showing me my exact direction. Trees, bushes and leaves are getting less tight. Instead of only undergrowth I recognize more and more colourful flowers every single day. The beginning of my new life circle is only days ahead. My feelings and my emotions are reflecting that event precisely.  More than once I sit down on my comfy couch nowadays and reflect about my life journey so far. Sometimes it´s hard to believe that I am wandering on earth for almost 50 years already. Well, in this actual life it is ... When I look back onto my path so far I see failure and mistakes, but more than that I see growth and happiness. I see magical moments and adventures. I see times of learning and times of enjoying.  I am proud of never giving up - though I´ve been on the corner to that several times. I am proud of backing myself up - even in times when I thought I am the only person ...