A LITTLE UPDATE

Soon, very soon, I will be Fifty!
There is nothing sinister about that thought. And I really have no clue why people, especially women, are making such a big fuss about turning Fifty.
Okay, I get that I am not "normal". The way my life turned out so far has nothing in common with the usual evolving of a standard life in our western European society. 

Married twice, no children.
No meaningful relationship in ... I am afraid I have to call it ... decades. 
Leaving my home country to live on a tiny island in the very South of Europe.
Being happy with my life without responsibilities and plans ahead.

So yes, I am aware my life is not really to compare with a standard life of many other women who turn Fifty in Europe.
But also if I think of those other women. Why is it so hard for some of them to turn Fifty?

To tell you the truth, I believe the only reason is: 
Women have always complained about getting older and that´s why it is still be done!

My niece, who is only six months younger than me, texted me a few days ago:
"I can´t believe we will be 50 soon. In my head I still feel like 20. What about you?"

I thought about that a bit.
Well, definitely I am not feeling like 20 anymore. And that is a good thing! 
For no money in that world would I like to be 20 again. At least not in this life ...
I am more than content about the place I am at right now. Yes, my body is showing the signs of getting older but that doesn´t bother me at all. Grey hair and hair loss, wrinkles, a few aches here and there in the mornings are totally normal, aren´t they?
On the other hand, hence to my more natural, plant based diet, I feel great right now. Also my mental health is so much better than it was in my younger years. There is nothing I can complain about right now.

I also don´t get the big fuss about the menopause. Okay, I guess I am not there yet, but is it not also the point of turning 50 when women usually are getting sad about not being able to have children anymore?
How comes?
With a few exceptions women usually have their children already or did decide years ago they don´t want to have any (like in my case). So why is it when the biological clock is showing the dead line that women get frustrated about not being able to have children anymore?
I don´t get that.
We do know about the biological journey of our bodies. We´ve been showed before by so many older people how the wheel of time is working. So why do so many people step into that trap of getting-older-depressions? 

What about all the good stuff?

- I love my life right now!
- I am settled in it. I like my job. I love living on my tiny island in the middle of the sea in endless summer.
- I am still thrilled that my biggest heart wish came true.
- I´ve learned a lot in the last decades.
- I am so much more confident about myself.
- Money is not an issue anymore. Most of all because materialistic things are not important to me anymore.
- Today I know who I am!
- I know what I want and - even more important - what I don´t want (anymore).
- I do not have to proof anything to anybody anymore.
- I am content about being on my own and do my own stuff.
- I love to be free, independent and able to change what ever I want to change at any given moment.

Those things (and much more) are fantastic!
I am not a Celebrating-Birthday-Person. But I am in a kind of celebrating mood right now. Not about the actual Birthday - but about the sliding into the new decade of life. It actually feels amazing!

Does that sound weird?
Not to me.

Comments

  1. Dorothee HildebrandtAugust 8, 2021 at 8:43 AM

    It is not weird, of course, like you feel. I was happy, when I did get my menopause, because before it I had hard times once a month. I am also happy with my age, even I turned 70 years last year, because all the experiences I collected, especially during the last 14 years made me happy. Before that, I only had few experiences, which let me feel good. I also accept the circle of life to the fullest.

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