Being stubborn saved my life!

My today´s breakfast: 
a big glass of water - in my fancy totem glass (I love it!)

and a milk-shake made out of 

***

1 banana, a hand full of frozen sour cherries, linseeds and sesame, cinnamon and organic cacao powder, almond milk

*** 

Originally I wanted to get up pretty early on this my day off today and head to the beach in the morning. 

I did get up at 5:30am but I absolutely didn´t feel like already beginning the day. I was grumpy and listless. So I went back to bed.

Yes, it´s a pity to loose the chance of an early morning swim but I know myself pretty well. There is no need to force myself to do something I am not feeling like doing it. I would have dragged myself to the beach, I would have been angry with the people on the way there and I would be sitting at the sea with dark thoughts.

For sure there is no need for that!

Better to let the day unfold itself. And when I am not up to do anything more than eat my breakfast and write this blog .. than so be it!

I am not seeing those days as a waste anymore.

Obviously my body and my soul needs it that way. Who am I to interfere? 

Taking care of myself and of my wellbeing is priority number 1 in my life!

As a Highly Sensitive Person I do need extra care. I have to do it my way and I have to listen to my needs very carefully. Because I only function well when my wellbeing is in balance.

Though I really took good care of myself all my life I also made a lot of mistakes before I found out of me being a Highly Sensitive Person.

Why? Because it was so depressing to feel so different from others. I wanted to fit into society, I wanted to belong to "normal life". 

So I overstepped my own wellbeing. I tried to do it like others do it. I denied myself for the sake of belonging to them. Or I denied my own needs just to find an easier way to cope with people.

Of course it didn´t work out!

I couldn´t be like them cause I am not like them! 

Every afford to adjust was exhausting and the failure was even more depressing.

My biggest chance was my stubbornness! 

Of course when I think back I for sure would not call it my biggest chance. 

Oh my, how hard was it as a child and as a teenager to be stubborn! And I do remember those situations very clearly. Me being stubborn meant for example locking myself into my room and not talking with people for hours just because my parents didn´t keep their promise to take me with them to a late night event. ... And I was about 4 or 5 at this time!

Yes, I had a hard life by being that stubborn. Today I know it saved my life! 

When I finally discovered me being Highly Sensitive I found out that instinctively I always did the right thing to protect myself: I pulled back when it became uncomfortable. I avoided places where I got stressed. When I couldn´t take it anymore I curled up in bed and slept for a couple of hours. 
I lost a lot of friends on the way because when the point is reached where I am hurt and not understood I simply walk away. That´s my way of protecting myself. When I was young I didn´t know how to deal with those things. 

Fortunately I´ve learned about that on my journey of life. I´ve learned to hold on to relationships which are important to me. I´ve learned to talk open about my feelings and I´ve learned to see things in the right proportion.  

But still ... if something doesn´t feel right and I can´t change that feeling ... I walk away.

When I was a kid and a teenager I simply was stubborn by instinct. Later I´ve learned how to stand behind my decisions - completely - no matter how stupid they seemed to others. 

Because there is only one way how to deal with things: MY WAY! 

There is only one person who knows what is right for me: ME!

Yes, I´ve received a lot of help and support from outside. I found a lot of answers from the Native American, from Energetic and from other different sources. 

I´ve got important input from inspired people. I found answers in movies and songs, in quotes or simply in some words written somewhere. Often I´ve got an idea how I want my life to be by watching other people. This could have been a random person in the crowd who was inspiring on the spot or someone I met and admired for his way of dealing with things. 

I am always open for inspiration and for new ways ... but in the end it is MY decision what I adapt for myself! 

Today I am so grateful for how my life unfolded itself. It feels like all the hard work during my younger age made me become that independent, free and (most of the time) happy person I am today.

I am grateful for my strong believing! 

I am grateful for my stubbornness!