Three Stones of Wisdom

 

A few days ago I was reminded about my deep connection with the Native Americans.

I was sitting in a restaurant at the sea, writing diary, when a group of young people gathered in front of the restaurant, exactly in front of me. 
One of them, a young man, long black hair, dark eyes, long black eye lashes, caught my eyes.
A NATIVE! - everything screamed inside of me.
I starred at him, couldn´t look away. My heart was beating faster and I felt an excitement deep inside of me, which reminded me of how much the Native Americans mean to me.

I told a friend about that encounter a couple of days later.
"Are you sure it was a Native?"
"I don´t care about if he was a real Native or not. He looked like one and I couldn´t stop starring. The important thing is how I felt about it."

And then I told my friend about an exceptional meeting I had some years ago back in Austria ...

There was this meditation evening in my friends place. Of course in one of the meditations my connection with the Natives came up and I told the group about it. One of the attending ladies said:
"You have to visit the spiritual market in ... (I don´t remember the name of the village. But it was near my home town back in Austria.). You really have to. There is a Native Shaman from Suriname and he is amazing!"
She told me that he made her choose a stone out of his stone collection. She chose a stone with a crow painted on it. He told her that the crow stands for the connection between life and death. She told him that this fits very well, because she is working in a hospice and therefore is confronted with death almost every day. 
"And then", she said with gleaming eyes, "he opened his own hand. He had chosen a stone with the crow for me before already!"

Well, I knew I have to be there, right?

I went there on my own on an early Sunday morning. I was nervous. It´s not every day that I meet a Native and I´ve never met a Shaman before.
The spiritual market was held in the community centre of the village. When I arrived not many people were there. 
I walked in and when I saw the Native market stall I started to shiver. From a distance I already saw dream catchers and feathers, Native drums and Native jewellery. I smelled burned sage.
I approached hesitantly because I was so agitated. 
And then I saw him!
Bloody hell, was he BEAUTIFUL!
Long black hair, dark, smooth skin, black eyes, about 30, 35 years old.  
I just remember that he greeted me and for sure I answered him. Then I started to check out his goods because I was too nervous to look at him. I don´t remember how we started our conversation. 
But at one point he asked me to choose three stones from his stone collection. There were a lot of beautiful stones with different animals painted on them. He told me I should choose by instinct, without thinking about the stone or the motive. And he asked me to remember the order in which I chose the stones. 
What I chose are the stones you can see above:

1. the Fox
2. the Butterfly
3. the Swan 

I kept the stones in my hand and somehow I ended up telling him about my deep connection with the Natives. I told him my story. He listened.
I told him how the Natives always were an important part of my life - since I was a toddler. 
I guess he understood that I wanted to know where this strong feeling is coming from.

So he made me choose one of the Native drums, which he has on display above the stall. 
Beautiful Native drums with different motives painted on them. 
He asked me to choose carefully.
My first instinct was to choose one with a single eagle head on it. Then I started to think it over. Should I go for it? If the motive is important maybe I should choose another one. What about this one with a group of eagles flying in the sky surrounding a mountain peak? Is this more beautiful than the other one with the single eagle head on it?
In the end I stuck to my first decision. 
He asked me how I was choosing and which drums where on my mind. When I told him, he said:
"You want to be surrounded by other people but in reality you are happy on your own."
Yep, sounds right to me!

He took the beautiful Native drum with the single eagle head painted on it down and handed it to me. 
I can´t describe the feeling I had when holding the drum in my hands!
A piece of the Natives in my hand! A beautiful Native drum. The handle was covered with soft buffalo fur. I held it like something fragile and very precious. While I was examining the drum, Blue Jay (that´s the Native Shaman´s name) burned some sage in a little clay pot. Then he handed me a drumstick and said: 
"Now beat the drum."
I freaked out. "No. I can´t!"
"Yes, you can. Beat the drum."
"No way. I would never beat that drum!"
Blue Jay watched me with huge black eyes. "But why not?"
"Because this drum is sacred! It is made by the Natives. I would never beat that drum!" 
Blue Jay saw the tears in my eyes and how overwhelmed I was. He tried to calm me down: "This drum was made for people to beat it. You are allowed to beat it."
"I could never do that!"

I guess Blue Jay was stunned about my reaction. For sure he was more than surprised. 
So he told me he would beat the drum for me and I should close my eyes and focus on what I feel.
Well, I thought, this would become a very awkward thing. Meanwhile more people started to come to the market and the smell and the smoke of the burning sage together with the first drumbeats made the visitors walk by very slowly and they curiously watched us. 
Though in the next second I stopped to think at all.
Native drumbeats always have a special effect on me!
As soon as the rhythm of my heart connects with the rhythm of the drum I am completely out of mind. I only FEEL but can´t think anymore.
And this is what happened. I didn´t think of the passing visitors anymore, I didn´t think of focusing anymore. I just felt the drum together with my heartbeat and everything in me was screaming:
"I want to be a Native! Oh please, let me be a Native!" 

I have no idea how long this session went on. But in the moment the first thoughts reappeared in my awareness, Blue Jay stopped the drumming. He seemed to know when it was enough ...

Then he slowly put the drum back onto it´s display, cleaned the little clay pot and burned some more sage. 
In reality he gave me some time to think about what I felt.
And I was so agitated! What should I tell him, when he´s gonna ask what I felt? I can´t tell him that I want to be a Native! How should I tell a Native that I want to be a Native? That´s ridiculous! 

Well, after a while he came back to me and looked deep into my eyes. I tried to prepare for his question, but he didn´t ask me! He said:

"You don´t have to BE a Native! Just live the Native way." 

He knew already!! 

Blue Jay also was the one who told me that the Bear is my Power Animal. Remember the Native symbol from another block?

He told me that the Bear is a very powerful animal. The Bear usually walks the woods by himself (what fits with me), sleeps a lot (what definitely fits with me), is calm and quiet - till he has to fight for himself or his love ones - then he will fight like no other (what fits with me for sure).
The Bear carries his power within himself ... !
That´s also the meaning of that symbol. 

When I told Blue Jay my name is Ursula = a Latin name, means the little Bear, he again looked at me with huge, dark, surprised eyes. 

We talked for hours! 
And in the end something strange happened:
When we said our Good byes, Blue Jay hugged me tight and kissed me on both cheeks. Then we shook hands ...  
Again Blue Jay looked at me with huge, dark, surprised eyes.
"What is it?"
"Look what you are doing", he beamed at me and made me look at our intertwined hands. 

Without even knowing it I was shaking his hand in the traditional Native hand shake: I grabbed his wrist instead of his hand! 

The three stones are still with me. They always rest on my side table next to my clay pot, in which I burn sage from time to time. 
After I told the story how I met Blue Jay to my friend the other day, I took the stones into my hands ...

... and their meaning hit me! 

Cause that is what Blue Jay told me about my choice of the "Three Stones of Wisdom":

1. the Fox  - sly, but intelligent. 
Fights for his rights. Always is aware of things (is able to hear much better than people does).

2. the Butterfly - a fragile but beautiful creature.
Stands for transformation. 

3. the Swan - no words needed.

And the order how I chose my stones? 
I was gifted with the characteristics of the Fox.
Going trough a transformation as a fragile but beautiful creature.
To become an even more beautiful Swan! 

With goose bumps I hold the stones in my hands. I would say I am in the transforming period right now - more than ever!

Looking forward to become a Swan - soon!! 

THANK YOU, BLUE JAY! I WILL NEVER FORGET OUR MEETING!