BE SURPRISED HOW VANILLA SUGAR CAN MAKE YOU SMILE AROUND YOUR FACE!

“Look at you! Baking muffins. You are getting old!”

This thought, while washing the dishes after I put the muffins into the oven, made me smile. Because I like the thought of getting older. Yeah, believe me. I am serious about that. I am really looking forward to getting older.

My life was not always easy in different ways. But I also have my treasured precious moments and I love the place at where I am today! Not only geographical but also mental and physical.

I am – maybe not always as happy as I wish to be – but I am content most of the time. And that´s a fact.
So getting older, growing a bit more every day, learning more lessons, enjoying the achievements of my journey and trusting in life more than ever is something I really, really love to experience.

Shortly I´ve learned how lucky I am to be born exactly at this point of the entire human journey.

= THE TIME OF THE SIXTH SUN =

a documentation series about the actual time of Awakening changed my life! I´ve got so many answers to so many global and personal questions. And every time I re-watch the series I learn something new.
And you know what makes me happy the most?
When all those wonderful, wise people, the First Nation People and the specialists, are talking about something I am also feeling or something I already achieved in my life lessons before!

Washing the dishes, while the nice smell of the muffins filled my kitchen, my thoughts drifted away:
Is it in our genes that we love baking when we get older? (I had to smile about that thought as well. A little joke.)
Well, I know for sure why I enjoy baking now at this point in my life.
Of course I cooked and baked before. But my relationship with food was disturbed when I became a teenager. I know exactly when I became a frustration eater. It was the time when I could not longer deal with my emotional damage but I was forced to deal with it all by myself. At this time I did not only eat because I was hungry but because I needed to ease the pain ...

And with that the vicious circle began.

Though I knew about the real reasons of being overweighed I couldn´t break out of this vicious circle. It took years and decades to heal emotionally.
Yes, there was a time in my life – around my 30est Birthday – when I decided to be slim again. And I did it!
In 11 months I lost 30 kilograms! THIRTY!
It was a blast. I had the time of my life changing into the body I always wanted to have. I felt great, men started to flirt with me (which I couldn´t really “enjoy” because I was married at that time ...), I was able to wear all the clothes I wanted to wear, people didn´t recognize me anymore. I became a completely different person.
Physically ...
What didn´t change – unfortunately – was my mental state of that time. I looked fabulous on the outside but still was broken inside. With this realisation after the first blast faded away the vicious circle and the kilograms came back.

About 7 years ago my healing process started.
It was the time when I came to Malta, when I finally started to live the life I always were dreaming of.
No, that´s not true!
The healing process started already way earlier. But it was a slow start. I was able to heal a few of the big chunks. I was open for new information and I started to collect wisdom from different recourses. Some of it I already was able to manifest into my life. But all in all I was not really happy.
Only when I came to Malta I also started to be happy. It was my sister ,when she visited me for the first time, who mentioned:
“I guess here in Malta you are really happy for the first time in your life!”
I would say she is right!

With living my absolute heart wish there was space to heal the old wounds as well. Little by little I discovered what makes me happy, how I want to live my life and what is important for me.
Yes, I still was eating when I was frustrated, angry, lonely or sad. Sometimes I even do it today. But I also started to focus on why I am frustrated, angry, lonely or sad.
I believe there was an important time when dealing with my old wounds and my emotional damage melted smoothly into my happy life. Means, the big stuff was shredded into small pieces and was solved by and by - sometimes even without me knowing that it was solved. The life lessons got easier and more fun. At this time I also felt the urge to live a more natural and pure life.

And from this time on I also started to loose my secure-comforting-kilograms! 'Not 30 kilograms in 11 months – but little by little – even without me actively trying to loose weight at all.

Today I really have fun living this pure life.

My natural eating habits came step by step.
Today I enjoy my natural and healthy meals more than every frustration snack I ever had in my life!
Not only does it taste better. But knowing that I nourish my body as best as possible with natural, mostly package free ingrediencies makes me extremely happy AND I am proud of myself!

I know I talk about my pure and natural lifestyle a lot lately. But that´s my journey right now and finding new solutions for old, bad habits is my personal way of growing and for awakening.
This whole package of eating and drinking as natural as possible, finding the products and brands which fit best into my life and reduce plastic and trash in general as much as possible is part of my healing! Through these new patterns I discover who I am. I find out what belongs into my life and – more important – what is an absolute NO GO!

And it is not only about baking muffins!

By the way – they ARE DELICIOUS! I had a bite already. I will share some pictures at the end of that blog.

It is about FINDING MY OWN WAYS and the fun I am having with it.

Let me use those muffins as an example to tell you about the fun I am having with all of this:
The basic goal was to eat healthy and to avoid trash.
While the first year of Corona lockdown my intentions got even more intense. (I love the English language!)
More and more fruits and vegetables reached my fridge, products became more organic and fair traded. After I skipped honey, butter and eggs my household became completely vegan (though I am not exactly trying to live fully vegan – for now). Buying products in bulks as much as possible and store them in glass jars became my new and beloveds routine.

Look how my kitchen-store-system looks today!

I was pretty happy with my achievements. Of course there always was / is room for improvements but that is the fun of the journey, right?

For example: I was not happy to buy so many tetra packs. Though I drink my coffee black nowadays (mostly because I totally skipped milk and never liked the soya options which only was offered in some restaurants and cafés) I use plant milk for smoothies, soups and for sauces. The tetra packs annoyed me.

So in the end of 2020 I decided to produce my own plant milk at home! YEAHHHH! I was extremely exited about that next big step into an even more natural life!

And what can I say:
April 2021: tetra packs bought: ZERO! NADA! BIG FAT 0 !!

Then I was searching for an healthy, package free option for my sweet tooth at home. I LOVE my banana-cacao-peanut butter – milk shake! But that´s a whole meal, not only a snack ...
So I had the idea to check recipes for some vegan cookies.
And I found one that was easy and fast to make: Vegan Chocolate Cookies
Only:
- I needed a solution for skipping the baking paper (I am not sure if this is the right word. The paper you put the dough on for baking the cookies in the oven. You know what I mean.)
- The recipe said vanilla sugar and I couldn´t find any vanilla sugar in the shops!

Instead of the baking paper I bought the muffin tray and just changed the dough a little. Muffins instead of cookies. That was easy.
And about the vanilla sugar I have a funny little story, which always makes me smile when I take the vanilla sugar out of my kitchen cupboard (sorry for the spoiler):

My usual frequented shops don´t sell any vanilla sugar. In the supermarkets I didn´t find any vanilla sugar. Most people I asked about vanilla sugar didn´t even know what I mean.

I remember buying vanilla sugar, from baking with my mom when I was a kid and later in Austria baking by myself, in little paper bags like we bought baking soda as well.
Here in Malta my first time I bought baking soda was from the pharmacy (you can see that last white plastic container in the picture above) because I didn´t find those little paper bags in the supermarkets.
Now vanilla sugar was not to find!
Then I thought of checking Holland & Barrett. I was not really convinced, but it couldn´t hurt.
I went to the big store in Sliema because I know one shop assistant there and I love to chat with him.
But he was busy at the cash. So I checked the shelfs by myself.

“Hey, can I help you?”

You know that Holland & Barrett is also a brand for food supplies and healthy stuff for “muscle and gym people”, right? Well, one of those good looking muscle and gym body person stood there and smiled at me.

“Hey, well, I am searching for ... “

and I thought: shit, why do I need grandmother´s vanilla sugar and not some fancy, glamourous item? And I also thought: sorry, Cutie, but I am afraid you can´t help me!

“... vanilla sugar.”

I was prepared for a short an brief: “Sorry, we don´t have vanilla sugar”, with some rolling of his eyes and some disappointed sight for wasting his time with ... vanilla sugar!

But NO!

We had a 10 minutes chat about vanilla sugar! Because Muscle Cutie was working in some production branch of vanilla sugar before and he told me to make my own vanilla sugar! Because, "seriously, why buying that so overprized common vanilla sugar when you can make your own, right?"

While chatting and discussing we went to the shelf with the herbs and spices and he gave me some vanilla pod.
“Now put some sugar in a little glass jar (my favourites!!) add the vanilla pod and leave it there for a couple of weeks.”

I own a little glass jar of home made vanilla sugar including a natural vanilla pod in it for ... TWO EUROS! And every time I take this little glass jar out of my cupboard I smile around my face!

See what I mean?
It is not about a more natural, trash free life .. it´s about all the fun in it!

So the simple vegan chocolate cookie recipe turned into a total personal project:

- Instead of normal flour I am using chestnut flour: I love chestnuts and I was so curious about the chestnut flour at Casa Natura but it was too expensive (to just give it a try). When the price was reduced – 50% I bought it and I love it! I love it because it tastes slightly like chestnuts and it makes the dough and the muffin smoother – NOT because it´s gluten free ... !
- I use plant milk (hazelnut, almond, oat or rice) which I produce freshly by myself!
- The powdered sugar is (free) sugar from the little sugar bags I get at restaurants with my coffees which I ground myself.
- Vanilla sugar ... big fat smile on my face!

Today I didn´t have enough of my organic cacao powder so I tried a new variety:

BANANA – PEANUT BUTTER – CINNAMON – MUFFINS

With a little extra chocolate crunch – because I thought the organic chocolate granola I bought last time might work in the muffins ...

Here are some pictures of the baking process:

My simple but golden life keys: