Kiss my A**, EGO!

I could have known it! 

Feeling excited about something new, can´t await to get it going??

Never would that happen smoothly! I guess that is one of Murphy´s laws! 

So I thought I was fully prepared for July 1st to come. I did everything I wanted to do and went to bed with that anticipation for a new start.

Only that I didn´t sleep well that night.

Only that I had bad and confusing dreams.

Only that I woke up not feeling relaxed.

Only that I started my working day with technical problems.

Only that I had to deal with a few stressful situations throughout my morning.

And of course my ego kept telling me: "You see how bad your trial run already goes? Let it be! It´s not worth it to change your habits. Go and buy some chocolate and the world is perfect again!"

Yeah, sure!

Nice try, ego. I knew that would come. 

Literally I was sitting at my work desk and kept smiling about those irrational thoughts. Nice try, ego. That did work before several times but you can´t fool me anymore. 

How often did I stop a new project after a few hours or days because the start was difficult?  

The good thing is I´ve learned that lesson. 

There is an explanation about that. When I heard about it I knew from formal experience that it has to be right:

When you are about to change something in your life, something that makes you feel better or more happy, when you are about to get rid of bad habits, then the ego is fighting against it.

The ego doesn´t want you to change your life into something better.

The ego doesn´t want you to feel better.

You are much easier controllable by the ego when you feel unhappy, insecure or not worthy! 

So every time you are shifting into new, into better territory the ego is afraid to loose control.

Have you ever started a diet which was too hard to keep it up?

Ever started to go to fitness centre after New Year´s Eve and it felt like hell for the first couple of trainings? 

Ever planned a new strategy and thousand hurdles seemed to show up in the first couple of days?

Did you ever have a big dream and when you started to get it going it feels like it is not worth all the effort and the energy you have to put into it?

Well, all of that were presents from your ego! THANK YOU, EGO! 

Now, yesterday I was fully aware that this will happen again. It didn´t surprise me when my day started with all those issues. I watched my ego riot all day long. I watched it like a patient mother would watch a raging child. 

Beside that I kept my things going. I had healthy and natural meals and instead of taking a nap right after work (which I usually would do to compensate the stress and the bad feelings) I kept crossing tasks from my To Do list.  

Today I woke up fully relaxed and my working day was calm and smooth. I had a whole meal bread with a DELICIOUS, fresh and ripe avocado for breakfast and a homemade vegan stew after work. 

Yesterday I cancelled my bookings for Italy in the end of July and I will get all my money back (for the hotel - flight is not decided yet, which is okay). 

I´ve been asked by a friend if I would like to have a swim together on Sunday and I was invited by another friend for a summer party at the sea next week. 

See that, ego??

I am grateful for all of that and I am so happy about being aware of that ego-trip. It means I´ve learned my lesson and I´ve moved on. I became stronger already!

THANK YOU!